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Finding myself..
I know it’s been a while since I last blogged but to be honest, I’ve been quite lost lately. It really didn’t hit me about the whole break up because I kind of rushed into things with Drew although let me say we are not together and never will be. I was just trying to replace Rans as crappy as that sounds. Drew isn’t the type of guy you date at all. I let my past with him, as in we’ve known each other forever, control whether I thought he was trustworthy or not. So a week after me and Rans broke up I decided I should keep to myself and just process things at my own speed without any distractions.
So here I am a month and a week later finally over things and finally ready to have fun again. I’ve realized that in past relationships I let guys change me, maybe not change my entire being but if you change something little, later on that will effect things in a big way. It’s like the butterfly effect. I’ve allowed guys to govern how I act and what I like to the point it made me realize that I wasn’t sure what I liked anymore or even who I was. Now, I know I will not let anyone do that to me again. I am me, take it or leave it. The same goes with settling for guys below me. I know I will never be the prettiest or sweetest but I deserve someone substantial, not someone crappy to make time pass by quicker.
Anyways, I just wanted to blog something since it’s been forever. A lot has happened and a lot has changed about me but I’ll leave that for another day. For now, I’m about to head out to the bank and then out to lunch with my mom and sister. Later tonight I have a date though. We’ll see how that goes. Honestly, I have no expectations.
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Life is AMAZING
I know, I know, it’s been a while since I’ve last blogged. I can’t help it really; I’ve been uber busy with family and school. In good news, I seem to have my school finally under control some what. I have been feeling a lot more confident in my writing. Regardless over what my professor thinks, I am proud of my work and that is all that matters in the end. The only bad thing is my test in English over fiction and drama terms didn’t go so well in my opinion. Half of the terms were not defined in the book or on the DVD’s. Thankfully, everyone else felt the same way and wasn’t able to find all the terms either. Hopefully I did okay but if not, it’s not a big deal. I have decided to just let things flow and try my best. If my best isn’t good enough then that’s okay because I did not slack off in anyway.
In other news, the whole health issue with my mom worked out as well. The doctor ran all the tests and blood panels which came back fine. Her doctor believes it’s related to her back. My mom is upset that it is her back since it seems to be the root of all evil but thankful at the same time that it is not something worse. I am just glad my mom is okay. Lord knows, I’m a momma’s girl and when my momma isn’t doing so well neither am I.
Oh the big news would be I am at the beach. Harbor Island, South Carolina to be exact. It’s between Charleston, SC and Savannah, GA right beside Hilton Head Island in the lowcountry. It is absolutely amazing here. The trip up here was quite eventful as it took us an hour to get around Cedartown which is ten minutes from our house due to all of the road work. Our GPS ended up getting us lost. I was trying to rely on MapQuest because their directions made more sense and would be less highways but the GPS wanted us to go major highways the whole way. Luckily, we found our way after a little while. The really cool thing was going behind the airport where the plans take off. When we were going onto I-75 from I-285 there was a plane landing that went right over our car. It was kind of scary but neat at the same time seeing the plane take up all of our vision at that moment and hearing the engines even above our already loud radio. I’ve never been on a plane or even seen what a real plane looks like. Sure, I’ve seen the little planes at our local airport that houses planes people fly for hobbies but never a commercial jet like from Delta or whatever.
After going through Savannah, the ride to Harbor Island was beautiful with all of the scenery of marshes and the ocean. I loved the bridges even though they freak my mom out. After we got here, we immediately went down to the beach. It was so pretty and Jack enjoyed himself being the curious little pup that he is. The owner of our house left us two bottles of wine, free vouchers for chocolates, and even brought us milk since we didn’t get a chance to go to the store and brought Jack some frosty paws ice cream. Jack is in Heaven and so are we. The thing that was neat about the beach is how the tide is out so there were sand bars so we could go even further out. Hopefully the tide will come back in so we can get some fun in the ocean. Until it does, we’ve had fun playing in the sand and collecting sea shells. We’ll be headed to the pool later as well.
This trip is exactly what I needed. Sitting on the beach last night really put things in perspective and made me realize how amazing life is. I just think people need a chance to get away and reflect. It made me so thankful for the little things in life God has provided me with. I have Him to thank for everything in my life.
I will blog later when I have time! For now, I’m going to take a short nap before going sight seeing and then to Wal Mart to get some things we need for later in the week. I can’t wait until we decide to go into Savannah! Donna’s friend went to Paula Deen’s restaurant and met her so hopefully she will be there when we go. So until next time, later lovelies.
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One girl, many versions
Thanks to the lovely Kecia and Dez, I’ve been tagged with the Honest Scrap Award. Oh yeah, go Kateness!
“The HonestScrap award comes with a caveat or two. Firstly, you have to tell your readers ten things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly, you have to tag 10 people with the award.”
Ten Things You Might Not Know About Kate:
- While my mom was carrying me, I had a twin, but before birth, the twin “disappeared.” Part of my wishes I had a twin but if you were to ask Rans or my family they would tell you one of me is plenty enough!
- I was originally supposed to be named Twilah Larae, thank God my mom changed her name because seriously, WTF? Can you just imagine learning to spell that name in kindergarten? No thanks, Mom!
- I have this weird thing where I can remember numbers from years ago. I guess I’m just good with numbers.
- I’ve never been out of the southeast but one day I plan on going to visit my cousins in New York.
- I am terribly afraid of heights thus I’ve never been on a plane before. For our honeymoon, Rans and I want to go to Hawaii so I can get over my fear of flying and see the awesomeness that is known as Hawaii.
- I’ve never had sex with Rans even though we’ve been together for eight months. I’m a born again virgin and so is he. I have had a lot of traumatic sexual experiences in my life willingly and unwillingly and I thought that being born again would put my mind at ease until I made sure it was the right time and with the right person, my future husband which is Rans.
- I let my fears get in my way a lot of the time. Like I won’t speak up in class in fear of making a fool of myself, or I won’t go do something by myself in fear of people are looking at me all the time. This is a side effect of being raped when I was 15 and I am just now working through it and getting over it at the age of 23. It’s been a long road but it’s finally behind me!
- I have a bad habit of recording random crap on my DVR only to delete it later unwatched when I run out of space. I also have a bunch of shows on my series recording that I’ll record the whole series, decide I really don’t wanna watch it and delete the whole series off of my DVR. I’m bad about recording Lifetime and Hallmark moves as well.
- I often start blog posts and then immediately delete them or re-write them because I find my life boring most of the time, or the things I wrote about at that time were insignificant. I have a hard time writing what I feel because I don’t like opening up to people most of the time. I’m a nut with a hard shell to crack, but once you do, you realize I’m all mushy inside.
So there ya go, my ten facts and now, I get to tag 10 people. Fun!
Tag, You’re It:
With all of that posted, this is my farewell for a couple of days while I’m spending time with Rans at his house and escaping from the real world to my nice, cozy, Rans-filled bubble! Ha! Maybe I will post while I’m there, but I doubt it. It’s nice to have a mini-vaca away from the net and everything else that is overwhelming on the day-to-day. Later lovelies!
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On the outside looking in
For some reason I’ve been in a major pop mood lately listening to *N Sync radio on LastFM quite a lot. I don’t know if I just love that type of music or it just makes me think of a lot of different things. Maybe it’s the fact that love songs make me smile inside. I’ve been smiling quite a lot lately and feeling just at ease with my life I guess you could say. Even though I’m stressed beyond stressed I’m still happy. Isn’t it funny how in life you can always get so bent out of shape for certain things and that when you sit back and look at the situation you realize things aren’t as bad as they seem.
Like my Education Psychology class for example, I was so stressed over that paper. In my own right I should have been stressed because it asked for my beliefs and I am a new student so it’s really impossible to know what you believe for certain. There are so many aspects to a child’s development not to mention so many theories and knowing which ones you believe solely in is really difficult. After all of that worrying and stress I made a 93. All of that stress was over nothing and I just am really consciously working to not freak myself out so much. Instead of getting so stressed, I need to just take a step back and breathe for once. That’s my main problem, I forget to breathe at times because I’m so busy worrying I forget the smallest things.
So this weekend I kind of have exciting plans. For as long as I have been with Rans, we’ve never had one on one time. I live at home and he always comes up here, but he lives at home as well. He was raised that the guy comes to the girl so that’s why he is always up here but I’ve met his parents a few times and they are amazing. I love his grandma, she’s so cute. Anyways, his parents are leaving for out of town this Friday and won’t be back for a week and a half. So since his mom asked him to stay at home those days so Logan (their dog) can be taken care of, he’s asked me to come spend some time with him. Wow, that’s a huge step because we’ve never slept somewhere with it being just us except the first weekend we spent together but that doesn’t count since we were just getting to know each other! So this Friday night around midnight my family and I are meeting him halfway between my house and his house and then I’m riding back to his house with him. My mom suggested the meet-up since it’s at midnight and he will just be getting off of work. By the way, my family adores him and he is already labeled one of us. I won’t be back until Monday and then next Thursday I will be going there and coming back Saturday evening. I’m really excited and he has made plans to cook for me. Per him, it’s all about me. Ha. He really makes me feel special because I’ve never had a guy go out of his way for me. So we’ll see how that goes. I’ll still be online since he works Sunday and that is when I plan on getting some school stuff taken care of.
I so smell chicken cooking for my chicken tortilla soup! So before I die of starvation, I’m going to go finish it up for my sister and get my grub on! I also need to do some studying since I have a midterm Thursday (Education class) but luckily all questions on the midterm are on our practice quizzes! Thanks Dr. Sorrells for that one. So until next time, later lovelies.
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