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Even my bad days aint that bad

Another month has come and gone in a flash. The days of summer are quickly fading and I am afraid I’m going to miss out on the whole summer experience. Instead of spending time summer outside by our pool like I have in previous years, it’s spent sleeping or with my nose in a book preparing for one of my three classes. Thankfully, my class load is about to get a lot lighter since tonight was the last night of my education class, and our final is on Thursday. Maybe after Thursday I can relax a little and enjoy some days of fun in the sun. I do know that nothing will stop me from having fun on our vacation and that is a promise!

So on Wednesday (tomorrow) by midnight I have an essay due for my English class. Every since receiving that 78 on my research paper, it’s been playing with my mind and mostly my confidence. I used to be a confident writer and thought I had some semi-talent but now I find myself questioning my talent and ability. I just really need to get through this essay and I think I will be okay. The only hard part is trying to decide on a certain topic. Deciding on topics was never my strong suit and certainly isn’t now. While most people can choose something right off the bat, I have the trouble of picking something only to change my mind later. This really sucks and ends up in a lot of wasted time creating half of an essay only to send it to my recycling bin. Yes, my recycling bin is essay hungry! So I think I’m going to make a decision and just stick to it because I don’t have the time or patience to re-write one once I get started.

In other news, for the past two weeks my mom’s side has been killing her. The pain is so severe that it sometimes takes her breath away. Last Friday before I left for Rans’ house, I took my mom to the doctor. After various x-rays, a blood test, and urine analysis, the doctor concluded it was a pulled muscle. However, on Saturday he called my mom and told her the chem panel he ran on her blood messed up and he didn’t have the results so she’d need to get her blood re-drawn. No one told me this until I was home those two days in between going back to Rans’ house. Luckily, I called the Family Care place close to our house and talked to the actual Nurse Practitioner that runs the clinic and she said to have my mom come in the next morning and she’d run a full panel checking anything and everything and then she’d have the results back for my mom’s appointment that would be made after having her blood drawn. Luckily for us, her appointment is tomorrow which is the day I have free before my final so I will be taking her. My mom thinks it is her liver but she always thinks the worst. I’m praying it’s a pulled muscle because honestly, I can’t live without my mom and if something happened to her, I don’t know what I’d do. Rans has been supporting me a lot with all my feelings about all of this so I don’t have to voice them to her because I don’t want her to have to worry about me while she’s in such pain. So for all my lovelies out there, if you can pray to God or whatever high power you believe in, I’d really appreciate it. Right now, I’m throwing myself in my school work so I don’t have to think about the appointment tomorrow morning. I just can’t visit those feelings right now or I will completely crack and academically I can’t do that.

I feel so much better just getting that off of my chest. I didn’t want to put it on my blog because once I did it’d make it all real for me to read back later. I’m just praying that it’s nothing and it’s bad enough my dad has liver disease, I can’t have that happening to my mommy, too! Times like these really make you realize how precious life is. The song “Lucky Man” by Montgomery Gentry really explains how I feel right now that despite my troubles I have in day to day life, I’m still lucky. If my mom turns out to be okay I’ll be even luckier! Unfortunately, that’s all the time I have to blog so it’s back to my essay on short stories for now. Until next time, later my lovelies!! Also, if anyone wants to swap links, please let me know since I’m looking for some fellow blogrollers.