They Are Not All the Same

This is the narrative essay I wrote for my English Composition I class. The essay was turned in on February 4, 2009. All words and thoughts are © Katie Johnson and do not copy as your own. If I find out someone does, there will be MAJOR hell to pay since this essay is sacred to me.

Throughout my life, I’ve always assumed people of the opposite sex were the enemy until I met the love of my life. The men in my life helped shape and mold this conclusion and even though my feelings might leave me sounding jaded, I did open my heart up to find my diamond in the rough. With his love and advice from an unlikely source, I concluded not all males are the same and some are worth giving your heart to.

I did not start out my life thinking all males were evil. In fact, growing up I was a daddy’s girl even though my father was abusive towards my mother and brother. The traumatic events I saw take place, like the memory of my father hitting my mother until she fell on the floor begging for her life, caused my brain to block those memories from my brain. When these memories resurfaced, the image of my perfect dad was shattered leaving me feeling betrayed by him.

My grandfathers, on the other hand, were like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when it came to their temperament. My mother’s father was a lovely man and never had a bad word to say about anyone, but passed away before he could make a big impact on my life. My father’s father is a whole different story. On the outside, he appeared as any normal doting grandfather, and would take my brother and me on hay rides in the fields of his farm. My feelings for him quickly changed and so did he. Instead of being my loving grandfather, he became an evil villain of my past. When I was six years old, he started molesting me and told me not to tell. Like the child I was, I never told anyone but still suffered the repercussion of that event.

My first real boyfriend shattered my heart and tore my self esteem to bits. Instead of being the type of man I always dreamed of, he was the opposite. His hobby was pushing me around and tearing me down. Every dream and goal I had, he would put down until I gave up on everything. I was completely under his spell and never thought I’d get out of that horrible relationship.

One day while visiting my father, he asked me to go have a talk with him. He told me I deserved better, and at first, I thought this was a sick joke. After all my father did to my family, how could he tell me what to do? He explained that there were things in his life that he regretted and wished he could take back. He did not want to see me at the hands of someone like he was back then.

I decided it was time to get out of my current relationship and time to stop being a victim to males. I broke it off with my boyfriend and never looked back. For the first time in my life, I felt empowered because I was my own person and making decisions for myself. Any date offers I received, I turned down. I felt like I didn’t need a man and was fine on my own. I believed as long as I loved myself and lived my life how I wanted to, I never would need anyone else.

My new found attitude almost caused me the love of my life, Rans. I met a guy who seemed different than anyone else I’ve ever met. He was kind and supportive and I often assumed he was too good to be true. I did, however, decide to give him a chance and started dating him. We lasted five months before my attitude towards men caused a rift in our relationship. Shortly after five month together, we broke up. I was shattered but for completely different reasons than any other time in the past. I was shattered because I had finally found someone worth my time.

Luckily for me, Rans felt the same way and four months later we got back together. We are still together and I cannot express how thankful I am to have found someone like him. He is much more than a boyfriend; he’s my best friend. In order to reap all the benefits of our relationship, I had to let him in and quit assuming he was like every other guy. With him I wasn’t in fear of being hurt or manipulated, I was completely comfortable around him. Thanks to Rans’ love and the regret of my father, I learned that everyone is human and sometimes, people do have the ability to change. I am glad I realized you can’t judge a group of people based upon a few bad apples before it was too late.