You’re my sunshine after the rain

Here I sit at our dining room table supposedly writing a paper on what my beliefs are when it comes to my future classroom based on the theories of cognitive, language, and socio-emotional development, but I have no clue where to begin or even what I believe in. I feel like my brain is shut off today. Have you ever had one of those days? Hopefully I am not alone.

Other than my lack of smart skills today, my weekend has been pretty good so far. Friday night Rans came over after work. It was our eight month anniversary and he surprised me with Tropicana roses which happen to be my favorite. They are so pretty and I love how he just randomly brings me flowers but this time I guess they were special since it was our anniversary. We celebrate every month anniversary in some ways even if its just a “happy anniversary” and I always get him a card so now he expects it. If I can do something little, like give him a card, to show him how much I love him then of course I will.

I’m getting a lot better at showing my feelings and expressing my love. Coming from a family who happens to include an abusive father (at least he used to be that way) it’s kind of hard to learn to express love and to show someone how much you love them. My mom was always one to give us hugs and kisses and shower us with love but the memories from my dad still linger no matter how hard I try to block them out. For me, not being able to say how I feel was a big obstacle and left Rans not knowing how I felt a lot of the time so when I finally decided to just put my heart out there at first he was wondering why I was being so nice and lovey dovey which really hurt my feelings and made me feel as if I wasn’t being such a great girlfriend. I guess in my mind I always assumed things like that would come naturally but after working at it for the past month or two it’s a lot easier. That just goes to prove how many things we take for granted in life.

On the site front, I plan on adding a lot of stuff to my domain over time but right now my summer is packed and I literally mean packed! In my free time I will be working on my other blog by revamping it and getting everything ready to go so I can start paid blogging over there. Since my schedule for this summer and even this fall is going to be jammed pack I wanted a way to earn a little bit of income aside from my financial aid from school since there isn’t going to be a whole lot of that left over except this summer. I find it utterly ridiculous that I have to get loans since evidently my mom makes “too much” while drawing her disability. That my friends is quite sad. I understand that everyone is in an economical crisis but shouldn’t we take this time to try to support more people trying to go back to school and better themselves? For instance if one man got laid off from one school shouldn’t we aid him in going back to school to better himself so he can qualify for another job that is not being laid off? Same thing with me, I realized there isn’t a life in computers where I live so I wanted to go back to be a teacher but I receive no help other than a loan which is going to have me in debt up to my eyeballs when I graduate and get a job. That’s just crazy in my eyes.

I supposed I will play the good student and try to write my essay. It’s only 500-800 words but deciding what I want to say and how I want to say it isn’t so easy. So later lovelies! I’ll visit the people who commented my last entry later!