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On the outside looking in

For some reason I’ve been in a major pop mood lately listening to *N Sync radio on LastFM quite a lot. I don’t know if I just love that type of music or it just makes me think of a lot of different things. Maybe it’s the fact that love songs make me smile inside. I’ve been smiling quite a lot lately and feeling just at ease with my life I guess you could say. Even though I’m stressed beyond stressed I’m still happy. Isn’t it funny how in life you can always get so bent out of shape for certain things and that when you sit back and look at the situation you realize things aren’t as bad as they seem.

Like my Education Psychology class for example, I was so stressed over that paper. In my own right I should have been stressed because it asked for my beliefs and I am a new student so it’s really impossible to know what you believe for certain. There are so many aspects to a child’s development not to mention so many theories and knowing which ones you believe solely in is really difficult. After all of that worrying and stress I made a 93. All of that stress was over nothing and I just am really consciously working to not freak myself out so much. Instead of getting so stressed, I need to just take a step back and breathe for once. That’s my main problem, I forget to breathe at times because I’m so busy worrying I forget the smallest things.

So this weekend I kind of have exciting plans. For as long as I have been with Rans, we’ve never had one on one time. I live at home and he always comes up here, but he lives at home as well. He was raised that the guy comes to the girl so that’s why he is always up here but I’ve met his parents a few times and they are amazing. I love his grandma, she’s so cute. Anyways, his parents are leaving for out of town this Friday and won’t be back for a week and a half. So since his mom asked him to stay at home those days so Logan (their dog) can be taken care of, he’s asked me to come spend some time with him. Wow, that’s a huge step because we’ve never slept somewhere with it being just us except the first weekend we spent together but that doesn’t count since we were just getting to know each other! So this Friday night around midnight my family and I are meeting him halfway between my house and his house and then I’m riding back to his house with him. My mom suggested the meet-up since it’s at midnight and he will just be getting off of work. By the way, my family adores him and he is already labeled one of us. I won’t be back until Monday and then next Thursday I will be going there and coming back Saturday evening. I’m really excited and he has made plans to cook for me. Per him, it’s all about me. Ha. He really makes me feel special because I’ve never had a guy go out of his way for me. So we’ll see how that goes. I’ll still be online since he works Sunday and that is when I plan on getting some school stuff taken care of.

I so smell chicken cooking for my chicken tortilla soup! So before I die of starvation, I’m going to go finish it up for my sister and get my grub on! I also need to do some studying since I have a midterm Thursday (Education class) but luckily all questions on the midterm are on our practice quizzes! Thanks Dr. Sorrells for that one. So until next time, later lovelies.

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You’re my sunshine after the rain

Here I sit at our dining room table supposedly writing a paper on what my beliefs are when it comes to my future classroom based on the theories of cognitive, language, and socio-emotional development, but I have no clue where to begin or even what I believe in. I feel like my brain is shut off today. Have you ever had one of those days? Hopefully I am not alone.

Other than my lack of smart skills today, my weekend has been pretty good so far. Friday night Rans came over after work. It was our eight month anniversary and he surprised me with Tropicana roses which happen to be my favorite. They are so pretty and I love how he just randomly brings me flowers but this time I guess they were special since it was our anniversary. We celebrate every month anniversary in some ways even if its just a “happy anniversary” and I always get him a card so now he expects it. If I can do something little, like give him a card, to show him how much I love him then of course I will.

I’m getting a lot better at showing my feelings and expressing my love. Coming from a family who happens to include an abusive father (at least he used to be that way) it’s kind of hard to learn to express love and to show someone how much you love them. My mom was always one to give us hugs and kisses and shower us with love but the memories from my dad still linger no matter how hard I try to block them out. For me, not being able to say how I feel was a big obstacle and left Rans not knowing how I felt a lot of the time so when I finally decided to just put my heart out there at first he was wondering why I was being so nice and lovey dovey which really hurt my feelings and made me feel as if I wasn’t being such a great girlfriend. I guess in my mind I always assumed things like that would come naturally but after working at it for the past month or two it’s a lot easier. That just goes to prove how many things we take for granted in life.

On the site front, I plan on adding a lot of stuff to my domain over time but right now my summer is packed and I literally mean packed! In my free time I will be working on my other blog by revamping it and getting everything ready to go so I can start paid blogging over there. Since my schedule for this summer and even this fall is going to be jammed pack I wanted a way to earn a little bit of income aside from my financial aid from school since there isn’t going to be a whole lot of that left over except this summer. I find it utterly ridiculous that I have to get loans since evidently my mom makes “too much” while drawing her disability. That my friends is quite sad. I understand that everyone is in an economical crisis but shouldn’t we take this time to try to support more people trying to go back to school and better themselves? For instance if one man got laid off from one school shouldn’t we aid him in going back to school to better himself so he can qualify for another job that is not being laid off? Same thing with me, I realized there isn’t a life in computers where I live so I wanted to go back to be a teacher but I receive no help other than a loan which is going to have me in debt up to my eyeballs when I graduate and get a job. That’s just crazy in my eyes.

I supposed I will play the good student and try to write my essay. It’s only 500-800 words but deciding what I want to say and how I want to say it isn’t so easy. So later lovelies! I’ll visit the people who commented my last entry later!

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You said you loved me, what’s that about?

So yes, it’s been quite a while since I last blogged. I needed a blog break, heh. In my little blog break I finished up my semester, had a lovely whole month out of school, watched my sister walk across the stage and graduate, went to the lake with my family and loverboy, and finally started back to school for the summer semester. Yes, a lot has happened in the happy world of Kateness and even though I did want to blog about all the happenings, I didn’t. I did however fix up a new theme. I love it from the top header down to all the colors I used. I’m really thinking about keeping this format for a while. I can change colors here and there when I get tired of them but the general style and organization I love.

So as I said, I started my summer semester at school. I’m taking one class during June session only and then two other classes during Full session. The June session is only like 14 days which is a very short amount of time to pile a lot of information in but I’m finding out that I love the class. It is my first education class and the teacher and fellow students completely kick ass. Good thing they do, too because these are the people I’m going to be attending West Georgia with, at least some of them. In my education class I have to have ten hours of observation and I’ve completely four of those. I went to a local elementary school that was holding summer school and I swear, I fell in love with teaching. Watching all the kids learn and talking to them was awesome. It really confirms that this is what I am destined to do. That just really hit home and made me enjoy my classes even more.

I just really wanted to write a quick blog to shout out to the interwebz and to tell all my lovelies I miss them! I would write more but loverboy is five minutes away and I need to pick up my room really quick. Heh. I also have a lot to do this weekend in terms of I have a paper due Monday along with a rough draft of another research paper for two different classes and one is supposed to be MLA format while the other is APA which is really confusing the hell out of me. So until then, later lovelies!