Even my bad days aint that bad
Another month has come and gone in a flash. The days of summer are quickly fading and I am afraid I’m going to miss out on the whole summer experience. Instead of spending time summer outside by our pool like I have in previous years, it’s spent sleeping or with my nose in a book preparing for one of my three classes. Thankfully, my class load is about to get a lot lighter since tonight was the last night of my education class, and our final is on Thursday. Maybe after Thursday I can relax a little and enjoy some days of fun in the sun. I do know that nothing will stop me from having fun on our vacation and that is a promise!
So on Wednesday (tomorrow) by midnight I have an essay due for my English class. Every since receiving that 78 on my research paper, it’s been playing with my mind and mostly my confidence. I used to be a confident writer and thought I had some semi-talent but now I find myself questioning my talent and ability. I just really need to get through this essay and I think I will be okay. The only hard part is trying to decide on a certain topic. Deciding on topics was never my strong suit and certainly isn’t now. While most people can choose something right off the bat, I have the trouble of picking something only to change my mind later. This really sucks and ends up in a lot of wasted time creating half of an essay only to send it to my recycling bin. Yes, my recycling bin is essay hungry! So I think I’m going to make a decision and just stick to it because I don’t have the time or patience to re-write one once I get started.
In other news, for the past two weeks my mom’s side has been killing her. The pain is so severe that it sometimes takes her breath away. Last Friday before I left for Rans’ house, I took my mom to the doctor. After various x-rays, a blood test, and urine analysis, the doctor concluded it was a pulled muscle. However, on Saturday he called my mom and told her the chem panel he ran on her blood messed up and he didn’t have the results so she’d need to get her blood re-drawn. No one told me this until I was home those two days in between going back to Rans’ house. Luckily, I called the Family Care place close to our house and talked to the actual Nurse Practitioner that runs the clinic and she said to have my mom come in the next morning and she’d run a full panel checking anything and everything and then she’d have the results back for my mom’s appointment that would be made after having her blood drawn. Luckily for us, her appointment is tomorrow which is the day I have free before my final so I will be taking her. My mom thinks it is her liver but she always thinks the worst. I’m praying it’s a pulled muscle because honestly, I can’t live without my mom and if something happened to her, I don’t know what I’d do. Rans has been supporting me a lot with all my feelings about all of this so I don’t have to voice them to her because I don’t want her to have to worry about me while she’s in such pain. So for all my lovelies out there, if you can pray to God or whatever high power you believe in, I’d really appreciate it. Right now, I’m throwing myself in my school work so I don’t have to think about the appointment tomorrow morning. I just can’t visit those feelings right now or I will completely crack and academically I can’t do that.
I feel so much better just getting that off of my chest. I didn’t want to put it on my blog because once I did it’d make it all real for me to read back later. I’m just praying that it’s nothing and it’s bad enough my dad has liver disease, I can’t have that happening to my mommy, too! Times like these really make you realize how precious life is. The song “Lucky Man” by Montgomery Gentry really explains how I feel right now that despite my troubles I have in day to day life, I’m still lucky. If my mom turns out to be okay I’ll be even luckier! Unfortunately, that’s all the time I have to blog so it’s back to my essay on short stories for now. Until next time, later my lovelies!! Also, if anyone wants to swap links, please let me know since I’m looking for some fellow blogrollers.
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So the time alone with Rans is officially over. I had a lot of fun and I’m hoping we have a chance to spend some more one on one time in the future. Actually, I know we will since we are planning a trip either the middle or end of October. The 12th of October will be our one year anniversary of being together this go around. We’re really stoked to go out of town, but we just need to decide where exactly we want to go so I can book it up before we leave for the beach with my family the end of this month. Wow, we officially leave for the beach in 19 days! Holy cow!
Anyways, the weekend went really great except for us almost breaking up over stupid crap. Well, we didn’t almost break up but we did get into an argument. Our first big argument although I guess now that I think about it, it wasn’t that big. Basically the fight was over where we want to live since he wants to move to Ohio and I love it here and then he said he didn’t want to live close to our families and that erupting some very old wounds for me. With my ex of three years, he tried to keep me from my family all the time and that was just a big deja vu moment with me and Rans. In the end, we worked it out. He knows I don’t want to move and he understands that. He wasn’t thinking about the big picture as in, what if we have kids? What about our kids getting to know their grandparents? He doesn’t think about things like that and that’s why we’re perfect for each other in the way that we balance each other out. I think the most hurtful thing about our fight was me thinking about my future without him in it. That just really shattered me. I’m just glad everything is over and done and the conversation has been put to rest. We don’t know where we will live but we do know it will be near our parents and our vacations will be spent in Ohio. Lol.
I really just wanted to pop on to make a quick blog. I missed blogging, wow. Right now I don’t have time to really elaborate on my stay with Rans other than it was amazing and all that jazz. I have a sandwich report to do for my Education class that is due tomorrow and then I have an art midterm to study for all while preparing for an essay in English. Oh boy. Kateness is a busy girl. My final and last day of my Education class is this Thursday which is going to be really sad for me. I love all the people in my class because they ROCK! Also on Thursday, Rans will be up here and we’re headed to the Alabama line for some fireworks for this weekend. Oh yeah. Nothing like fireworks and homemade ice cream I say! So until next time, later lovelies!
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