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Upsets & Heartbreaks

I had one of the worst nights ever last night. My nerves were completely shot since not having my medicine and when we got to Wal-Mart last night, the pharmacy was closed. So I bit my tongue and dealt with it. What else was I supposed to do? After two hours of browsing the store, my mom still wasn’t done and my siblings were getting on my last nerve to the point I couldn’t take anymore. I had to get out. The only way to explain how I felt is to imagine yourself on an emotional roller coaster. My hormones are out of whack which messes up how I feel and react to certain situations. I would snap at my mom and not even realize what I was saying. So finally, I just left Wal-Mart and my mom called my sister to come pick her and my siblings up. I had to go home and on my way I basically told Rans not to bother coming up here because I was in such a piss poor mood. After a long bath and being basically “served” by Rans; my mood improved big time. He basically told me I had a lot going for me right now, him, my family, and school so I should feel the way I did. Last night I hated myself and how I was being.

So this morning it was my goal to wake up and be in a better mood and so far, so good. I even fought through biting my tongue off when my siblings were once again being hellions. I think they have a lot to do with my moods because they are all the time getting in trouble, lying, and being lazy by not doing what they are supposed to be doing which causes drama in the house. Not to mention, my brother is always “stealing” food in the middle of the night. My mom and I have certain foods and snacks we can eat while on Weight Watchers and he goes and eats them all and then lies about it. We find wrappers under his bed and in his nightstand drawer, and then he wonders why we can never trust him. My house is a chaotic place and I really need to get out every now and then.

Now I’m on my way to Wal-Mart to get a bike! Got to get in shape! So I will blog more later. Bye lovelies!

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Don’t hang up, can we talk?

I obviously haven’t had a chance to blog since I put this theme up. I’ve been super busy with school and all that junk. Aside from school, I’ve had major cramping and sinus issues; so I’m not really a happy Kate at the moment. I really think I have the “Spring Break is over blues” since I swear Spring Break flew by and didn’t last long enough. Over Spring Break I had a take home Math test and a comparative essay rough draft to write for English. I wrote my essay Monday before I had to turn it in and then did my test Monday night before I had to turn it in Tuesday. Yes, I’m a procrastinator which really surprises me because I swear I have the best of intentions but you know what they say about that.

In other Kate news, I decided to go back on Weight Watchers. After reading various weight loss blogs, like Caity’s, and seeing a girl on MySpace who lost 118 pounds in 11 months, I decided it was time I take a serious crack at weight loss. The only thing I hate is having to eat three meals a day because I don’t really get all that hungry so the first week was spent training myself to eat three meals a day. The first week, I lost 2.5 pounds and I don’t weigh this week until Thursday. I know why my loss wasn’t as grand as I’d hope for last week. I struggled with eating and it was Spring Break so I mostly sat on my butt doing nothing. Now that I am back in my classes and walking every day I know my loss will be a little better. I doubt it’ll be as grand as I hope for again since I’m going through synthroid withdrawals. My prescription is ready at Wal-Mart but I haven’t had time to pick it up yet since I’ve felt like crap.

Even though I feel awful, I’m excited since Rans will be here tonight. I miss him tons and I am getting to the point where it’s painful to have to go days without seeing him. I want to be around him all the time and I take strength and comfort from having him around. He’s also my number one supporter weight loss wise since he knows I want this which makes him want it as well. At first, I was reluctant to talk about anything weight related with him since in the past I’ve been made fun of by past boyfriends. Those times were really low blows and I found it hard to bounce back from it since I never assumed the person I was with would insult me in that way. So I’m thankful loverboy is the opposite way. He lifts me up.

I really hate to have to blog and run but I have got to find some clothes to wear to class. Evidently we’re having a writing tournament which is my professor’s form of the NCAA basketball tournament. Yeah, he’s a little weird at times. Lol. So until next time, later ya’ll.

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Sooo sleepy!

I finally have a new blog theme up but sadly, I’m too tired to even blog. I’ve been up finishing my take home exam from Spring Break that is due tomorrow which of course I waited until just now to complete. My bad. So I will find time to blog tomorrow. Until then, later gator!

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Wow, look at the time!

So I am currently sprawled out over my bed typing away on my laptop at three minutes to 5 AM. Why you ask? Well, I will tell you why. I have a huge research assignment which is also our final grade for my computers class and since my computers class ends this Wednesday, I have to get this baby done. I chose to do my assignment on Clara Barton because I really wanted to pick a woman who I considered influential. Not only is she inspiring to nurses but also to teachers as Clara was a teacher before she ever was a nurse. She often found herself working for little to no pay in the poorest of areas just to be able to educate and reach out to those children that were less fortunate. That is very inspiring to me.

So I’ve decided to take a break from my research paper for the night and since I had my laptop out, I thought I’d blog for once. I still have not got a new monitor but I might do that tomorrow. I had to wash all my clothes and tidy up my room before I decided to do anything else this weekend. I also really want to get this paper done so I can be lazy all Spring Break. Yes, the week of the 16th is Spring Break for me. I am so excited. Hopefully I will get to spend some time with the loverboy. We spent last Thursday night through Tuesday night and it actually went a lot better than I thought. You see, I get tired of people. No idea why but I tend to be a moody little pain in the ass. Well with him, I didn’t get annoyed with him or tired of him, I generally liked spending all of that time with him which says a lot since I was on my period!

On the whole Prozac front, I’m still feeling a lot better. I think that I didn’t need medicine originally because the medicine really made me feel awful and have a lot of horrible thoughts. I was even having suicidal thoughts at one point and after those thoughts I had to go off the medicine. I love my life and for me to feel that bad, something had to change. My mom has also noticed I’m not as moody now that I’m off of it and I’m generally a lot happier. Hell, even the boyfriend noticed my stableness. So I am happy to be me and actually feel like I am me. It’s like a brain fog has finally been lifted and I can see clearly now.

Since it is after 5 AM now, I think it’s a given I should take my happy butt to bed. The rest of my research paper will be a breeze since I’m now to the point where Clara starts the Red Cross and all that jazz. So I got smooth sailing from here on out on the research paper and I can do my Power Point presentation in class. Hooray. I am excited to have a 4.0 in that class since he only accepts 100’s. Lol. Also, I found out some interesting news on the financial aid front from my college thanks to the fact I can file independent. Hoorah! I need that money big time and now I am not in fear of having to quit college due to money problems. Okay, enough jabbering, I’m off to bed. So until next time, later gators!! I’ll put my new theme up after my paper is done as well.

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Blah

Yes, it’s been forever and a day since I’ve last blogged. My bad. I’ve been super busy with school and I’ve been down in the dumps thanks to Prozac. Now I’m Prozac free and happy. Yay me. Lol.

I will change themes and update my blog regularly again as soon as I get a new monitor. My monitor decided to blow up and the temp one is only 15 inches which is teenie tiny compared to my old 19 inch one. So until next time, later lovelies!