Frustration & Confusion .. not a good combo

So last night after class, I came into my room to check my e-mail and was completely floored. I had about 100 sign-ups to various newsletters that I never signed up for. Then I had an invite to maximtogo in which “Randy” (Rans real name) left me this message “i want a hotter girfriend cuz ur ugly sweete baby kate” which I’m sure you can guess my reaction to that. So basically I got a message from my boyfriend saying I was ugly. Wow, thanks. I sent him a text message and was really pissed and then after thinking about it I realized it wasn’t him. So I texted him again and told him that. This whole time he is barely texting me.

In fact, he never said I love you, never said anything sweet, he just barely talked. I’m beginning to get used to this from him. Back when we first started dating I poured my heart out to him over voicemail since he wouldn’t pick up and he never said anything. So I’m trying to realize he is a changed person and not think that history is repeating itself but it’s hard. I’m so used to being pessimistic and I’m so used to him, I don’t want to lose him. I don’t know why people are messing with him.

Now moving on to this morning, I have close to 500 spam messages TO his old and new email address that I got sent. They are all spam newsletters and I am livid. I can’t even decipher what’s my real e-mail and what’s not because there are so many messages filling up Thunderbird. I did see a message that I got a little while ago from his friend who has received the same messages as well. So at least it’s not me. I tried to e-mail him and ask him what’s going on but he hasn’t replied. I don’t know if he’s busy or asleep or just ignoring me. I’m hoping he’s asleep.

So my question is have you ever had something happen to you that you really wanted to think the worst and it was overpowering your attempts to remain positive? If so what did you do and how did the situation turn out? I was told by someone I need to have more faith in people and I am really trying to but it’s hard when you’re so used to getting crapped on relentlessly.

Anyways, I need to get dressed and head to my first class. Yay communications. *sarcasm* I have to give a speech introducing a fellow classmate and I am so worried I’ll stumble all over my words. I don’t like speaking in front of people but at least it’s only 5 other people! It definitely could be worse. So until next time, later gators.