Being Frustrated Is NO Fun

I am so gosh darn tired, but I decided to pop on for a minute to write a post. The past three days have been amazing spending time with the boyfriend. We had a lot of fun and I love being around him. Even though we got woken up at 11 AM when we didn’t go to bed well after 4 AM, today still turned out well. My step-dad was changing the struts on my car and needed a special tool so Rans had to take him to get it. Luckily, Rans decided to be an amazing boyfriend and let me sleep in. Evidently, he let me sleep until dang 1 PM! Lol. I was tired. I had a very late and tiring night so I earned my sleep.

There are some things I am confused about in our relationship though. I guess I should just put it out there. We decided when we first started talking to not have sex until we were either engaged or married. I respect that completely, but lately we have been pushing the limit. Everything but penetration we’ve done and we came very close to penetration quite a few times. I don’t know if I should talk to him to make sure we’re on the same page or what. I just feel really confused. He brings out a side of me no one never has. For once, I’m not the prude and I understand how it feels to crave to touch someone’s body or feel their lips on your skin. I just don’t know how to discuss things with him. I would never take things further than he wanted to but I don’t know if he does and he’s holding on because he thinks I don’t. Then on the other hand I don’t want to take it further because I love knowing that on our wedding day it’d be our first time together despite the fact we’ve both been with other people. We’re both born again virgins and lately, being one sucks.

Anyways, any advice is mucho appreciated. I just don’t really know who to talk to I guess. All I can say is I’ve been satisfied more so by not having sex with him than anytime I have had sex with anyone else. It’s hard to explain other than he drives me crazy. I’m a horn dog and I love feeling sexy and all that jazz but still, it’s frustrating. I have the sex glow without even having sex. How sad is that?!

Ugh, it’s definitely time for Kateness to head to bed and get some rest. I need to sleep all these thoughts off and pray to God him and his sexness do not enter my dreams. Ha. I’ll post some photos of all the decorating we got done today and blog more about our few days together tomorrow! So until next time, later gators!