Bad Blogger!

I’ve seriously been a horrible blogger. All of my people I usually comment on, I apologize profusely. I’ve been busy lately so I haven’t had time to blog. Or maybe I’ve had stuff to blog about, I just needed to get things straight in my head before I blogged about them ya know?

Last week, I went to my doctor. I was so excited to go because I had decided I was finally ready to take weight loss seriously. I’m at a point in my life where I am seriously considering walking down the aisle and having babies and all that jazz. In order to do so, I want to be healthy. I don’t care about looking better or whatever, I just want to be healthy so I can enjoy my life. My father was diagnosed with diabetes which puts me at an even greater risk to be diabetic myself so that’s another reason to take the weight thing seriously. I’ve always wanted to lose weight, I just needed to get prepared mentally for it first. I’ve finally shed the unhappiness and the inner darkness Kate so I’m ready to get started.

When I brought up the subject with my doctor, she immediately popped my happiness bubble. I thought she’d give me some suggestions on maybe vitamins, a gym recommendation or whatever but no, she told me to become a vegetarian because you don’t see overweight vegetarians. I was heartbroken. I just didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything at all. I understand that my doctor is skinny and maybe she doesn’t know the trials and tribulations to be overweight and be faced with a long, hard journey but I really think she could have said something more than be a vegetarian. Or maybe I just thought in my head she’d be supportive. I don’t know what I was expecting to be honest. All I know is on the car ride home I cried like a baby because I feel like I needed my doctor’s support and words of wisdom to help me out to get started but I didn’t get that.

I can go without a lot of things food wise and I am ready to make sacrifices but to totally cut things out will not work with me. I have to take things gradually. It’s bad enough that I don’t eat how I’m supposed to. I eat about a meal or two meals a day and that’s it. My mom and boyfriend have started to crawl my butt every time I feel light headed and weak from not eating because I need to take better care of myself. I am starting to eat the designated three meals a day plus two healthy snacks. I’m just picky about what I put into my mouth and I’m sorry but I’m a Southern girl, I gotta have my meat!

So my thoughts on my doctor? Screw her. I can do this but on my own terms. I know in some cases that isn’t always the most ethical way to do things but I do understand I need to burn more than what I take in but since I haven’t been eating the way I should be lately, I need to get on a balanced diet and schedule to get my body back in order. So, this shall be a fun ride. I don’t plan on starting til after the holidays. I’m sorry but I want to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am going to cut back after Thanksgiving and get used to eating three meals a day. I don’t really eat a lot Christmas since I do most of the cooking but I don’t want to feel guilty if I eat that holiday. I guess I’m made to feel guilty when I eat because I am overweight. I know that if my thyroid level was where it’s supposed to be at, all my past attempts at weight loss would’ve worked. My old doctor flat out told me this because every time I cut back and no results, I feel like a failure. I’m trying to work on not feeling that way though. Luckily for me that I have a supportive family and an even more supportive boyfriend.

I need to go defrost some chicken for dinner so until next time, later gators!