Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Wow, a lot has happened since my last blog. Seriously. So I guess I will address them one by one.

The old boyfriend/ex: Turns out, once again, I’m an idiot when it comes to choosing guys. My ex was a manipulative abuser so I kicked his ass to the curb. When I did break it off, he went psycho and called me literally 30 times within an hour time frame. Needless to say, I unplugged my home phone. One good thing did come from him. He kept saying Rans, my ex before him, cheated on me until it made me point blank ask him. More about that later. Basically my ex is a complete dumbass and a sorry excuse for a male specimen.

Rans: After the ex kept saying Rans cheated on me, I decided to contact him and ask him. Really I think I just needed to talk to him because after my ex pulled my hair and hit me in the back of the head one day when I had a migraine, I needed to hear Rans voice because he comforts me in a way no one else can. So on the day we left for Gatlinburg, I texted him. It was like a breath of fresh air talking to him again. I told him I’d call him Friday because I’d be single on the way home from Gatlinburg. See I already knew I was dumping the ex, I just didn’t want it to escalate further physically. He was clingy and crazy enough when we were together so I knew it’d get out of hand if I didn’t handle it properly. We got back on Friday but me and the ex didn’t break up til Saturday night. Saturday I called Rans and we talked. A while back, he contacted me and told me he made a mistake and he still loved me and he knew I was the one for him. I was too stupid to tell him I felt the same way so instead I let my pride get to me and turned him down. Gaw, I’m stupid sometimes.

So onto us actually getting together… he asked me out early Sunday morning. Sunday, October 12th to be exact. hehe. That evening he asked me what I was doing and of course I was like nothing so he drove up here. Oh man, I was so shy to go outside and see him when he got here. Him and my step-dad were chit chatting. See, Rans fits in with my family, he’s like already a family member and even when we broke up, my step-dad missed him being here and even talked to him about coming back up. So basically everyone was ready for us to get back together. Can I just say that kissing him makes my heart skip a beat and my knees get all weak? He’s like perfect for me in every way. Since we got back together, out of the 14 days (I’m not counting it as being Sunday yet), he’s been up here 10 days and he will be here Sunday evening through Tuesday evening and then come back Wednesday evening through Friday night. Now it’s to the point I miss him so much when he’s gone!

Tomorrow I will take a picture of my flowers he bought me. They are so beautiful. It’s the little things with me and him that make me realize he is the one for me. I knew he was when we broke up last time and after my vacation over the summer because I had plenty of time to think about things. That’s when I decided that I wanted to be a teacher and to start building my confidence up. See, most of my life I’ve been scared because of my whole past and the rape issue. I don’t go anywhere by myself but lately I’m more independent. I can go run errands by myself. Hell, I can go to the grocery store by myself and be fine with it. I think it’s because for once I feel safe because I know Rans has my back and if anything happens, he’s there to pick me up when I fall. It’s an amazing feeling.

Anyways, I don’t feel like rambling anymore for right now. I will blog more tomorrow. I just wanted to hurry and get my brand new theme up! Ta-da! I’ll comment and do link exchanges tomorrow! So until next time, later gators!